A Day in the Life of a Girl

Being a man is something I pride myself in. On the other hand, I’m a firm believer in curiosity and a small bit of imagination. Waking up as a girl would be a crazy experience not only for the Twighlight Zone aspect but the experience in itself as well.
Waking up would be the same as always. The morning mope to the bathroom is where things get interesting. I personally am not awake at this point and therefore, whether I realized at this point or not, I would more than likely pee myself as I attempt to aim for the toilet without my missile turret… I mean satellite.
After a bit of cleanup and a lot of makeup, because I’m a girl… why not, I’d head out the door. As my feminine instincts kick in, I’ll find myself getting slightly grouchy, but all will be well once I enter the car and crank up the Spice Girls, Dixie Chicks, or some other all girl bands like Fall Out Boy. I’d then pull out of the drive way for school, hitting two trashcans and a dog. Down my street, the old man running stares at my chest with a Grinch smile on his face. Driving down the road, I’ll check my cell phone at least 6 times for the latest gossip and put on extra lip gloss at the stop light, even though it has been green for a few minutes.
School is the next challenge of the day. I meet up with the girls where we gossip about guys, our mother, and ponder the everlasting question, “Why is one boob bigger than the other?” Bell will ring and as I head to class, late, I stop to flirt with Wilcox in hopes of him not noticing just how late I am. I spend the school day attempting to answer questions that I secretly know the answer too, and play stupid in hopes the guy behind me will think its cute.
After school, I head over to tan before the dreaded night of work. Luckily, I happen to have turned in to a fairly attractive young lady that gets away with doing nothing, including: Cleaning toilets, stocking ice, dumping trash, and anything that can be considered productive and doesn’t make myself 3 times the amount of everyone else’s paycheck in tips.
I head home for the night, but not before stopping to see my BFFLs. We gossip and paint our nails odd colors before I rush home to get on the phone, with those same BFFLs because for some reason the phone is more exciting than person to person.
I head to bed thinking of what a horrible life I have because my nails are the wrong shade but alright with all of it because I have my BFFs.
All of that, only to wake up the next day as a guy, wondering why my shirt is stretched out at the chest, my nails are painted an awkward shade of Hooker Red (That’s a real color by the way), why Fall Out Boy is on repeat in the car, and more importantly, why the old man down the street winked at me as I drove by before looking disgusted when I got close enough for him to see I don’t have boobs. Hmmm… I wonder what that was all about. Aw well, at least I still have my satellite.

It's unbearable

It's amazing how only a few words can make a person so jealous. Or, how hypocracy can overcome all of us. I feel pressure all the way around me between work, school, friends and finances. Its almost unbearable and I find myself tired. Absolutely tired. Mostly I find myself vulnerable. Vulnerable to everything. If only I could feel a sense of relief. A sense of feeling. A sense of touch. It'd be a sense of heaven.

"Why would I show up, just to see what I can't have?" -3OH3