Pick the world up and drop it on your f#*@ing head

Do you ever have that problem where your brain goes in to hyperdrive? Where you feel your thoughts literally tumble one over the other, like towels in a dryer, spinning in circles being carried to the top only to be dropped by gravity and start the process over. Now throw in a shoe and watch as it does the same, traveling around to the top only to drop with a thud and with every turn there is a thud, with every memory rotating and dropping you can feel the emotions and thoughts reach their peak only to thud to the bottom, denting the drum of perception.

"Pick the world up and drop it on your f#*@ing head"

I wish someone could just open the door and let me out. Stop the tumbling. Stop the confusion. Start the future.

I know she'll stop it for me. I just need patience... and padding.

"I've got the gift of one liners"

Pressure

Pressure
The Pressure of the world around holds me down
Suppresses every feeling of comfort and throws my mind
Swirling in to a deep abyss of tomorrow’s possibility
Yesterday’s mistakes dictate today’s actions
Pressure and steam build up inside
Wanting to explode with rage
Explode with passion
Passion

All I want...

My head is in the clouds and I'm thinking of you
Just one moment alone is the only thing I want
but to much is between us, to much to lose

Why don't we just say goodbye
To these gloom filled days
We can sneak out the back
And run through the night

The coast isn't so far
And the ocean is so bright
When the stars gleam off the rippled tide
And the moon shows this night

O girl you had me at hello
Your jacket snuggled over
Your lips so perfect
Your smile so bright.

Lets sneak out the back
Because O girl you had me at hello
Your smile so bright
One moment, one kiss is all I want.

"Its taken everything in me just to forget your sweater so far"

"There's a million others out there, but a smile like yours simply takes breath away." -Anonymous

"You think you know but you have no idea. This is the diary of a breathing Onomatopoeia." -Everyday's Forecast

Who is Jeremy Webb?

Can he fly?
Is he invincible?
Is the world after him?
Does the world love him?
Will he be remembered?
Is anyone really listening to what he says?
Does anyone care?
Is his life worth the world?
Does he know what he wants?
Is he worth anything?
Does he deserve more?
Does he deserve less?
Is she the one for him?
Is he the one for her?
Does he know who she is?
Does any of this matter?

I can't answer any of these, Can you?

"This is how it has to be
A kiss for luck, submerge myself
And in 7 weeks resurface" GCH - 7 Weeks

Feeling an urge to write for what I believe

"Go to college and learn something that nobody needs. 3am, have you found a place to slip away your makeup and the lies that you tried? Open your legs if you think your future's inside."

Whoa! Sorry I started with a quote today. The song caught me by the ear lobe and crawled inside, dancing its way to the drum and tingling a sensation to my brain. At that point, I just had to drop it on this page and watch it continue to dance for you.

So really, where am I? No, really, where? Yes, I'm sitting here in my room, music is playing softly in the background, and there is an odd sense of quiet, yes quiet. The snow is falling so I must be in Flagstaff, but forget all that. WHERE AM [[I]]??

We've concluded where my body presides but where is my mind? Recently, my mind seems to be everywhere. I'm having good thoughts and bad thoughts and Swiss thoughts (get it, because they're neutral).

My mind has sent me in to a roller coaster of emotions. I can't seem to put my whole heart in to anything. I don't trust anyone. Girls, friends, all of them. I just don't trust the words that flow from their mouth. All of it is half hearted truths, and soul-less lies. I hear the words and I see the mouths moving but like an episode of Twilight Zone (Not to be confused with those Vampires or those color TV episodes, Who's idea was that anyways? Sorry, not the place, maybe another time.)all I seem to see is the shit flowing from everyone's mouths. The world seems to be in Black and White lately and believe it or not the lack of resolution doesn't hide the flaws in the scenery.

"If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand, hope you find out what you are already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad I'll start talking again you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. I'll grow old and start acting my age." -The Boy that Blocked his own Shot

Would that really make anyone less sad? Oh Brand New, you confuse me.

I think I am to side tracked for this today.

End with a Quote? "but you started with a quote!"

"A man gave me a tip he said, 'Don't waste your time with politics.' He said, 'Just chase skirts instead.' 'Life is to short and you're almost dead,' he said."

I miss you so damn much...

I miss you so damn much and it eats me away inside everyday. I know why you left and I understand that it had to happen but I just wish there was some way to go back and change it. I can hardly sleep at night just thinking of the time we used to spend together and when I sleep I am haunted by good dreams that quickly turn for the worse.
I wake up sweating, my heart beating rapidly, and panting trying to tell myself it was just a dream that everything is fine. Even as I calm down I know that I am lying to myself and that it wasn't just a dream. You really are gone from my life and all I have is the memory of what once was. I can hardly breath just typing this.
It seems like a life time ago that you went but inside it feels like yesterday. It restricts me from doing my job, my school, living life. It brings me down inside and outside. It causes everything to tumble like a domino effect and before I know it I am trapped under a pile of my own mess that I created for myself.
Maybe I should be over it by now and maybe I should have just accepted what I can't change but I can't seem to do that. Every time I tell myself I am ok, I already know I am lying. I am not ok at all.
Maybe I just want some answers. Maybe I just need to talk to you. I would kill just to spend another day reminiscing and talking about life and everything in between. I would give up anything for that opportunity, but we both know that is not possible.

Honestly, I question why I am even writing this. As if somehow I believe that you will read this and respond. I know that won't happen, but what I would do for it to happen.


"Sometimes you must simply let go and sometimes you must hold on, but no matter the situation, the answer, you must find within."

What's up doc?

You know what really grinds my gears? The way people can just walk away. It doesn't just grind my gears it pulls them apart where they link and they send my cognition of thoughts and ideas and emotions hay-wire. Like an old cartoon when they blow up a machine and all of the springs and cogs come flying out and then it pans over to a dog shrugging his shoulders and the sounds tell you the mood of the story with out any words need to be spoken.

I am that machine and I am also the confused dog. When my machine blows up, the sounds that play are the sounds of confusion. The sound of sadness and the sounds of complete break down. The difference between me and the old cartoon is that they get to slowly walk of screen and have a Warner Bros. logo flip in with a sly rabbit or a stuttering pig. Wheres my rabbit? Wheres my pig to lighten the mood and make everything a laughing matter?

Maybe I should sue Warner Bros. for false hope...


"I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your undecisive mind shows me that
You are "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams
Maybe then you'd know how I feel"

All Hail The Heart Breaker


That's all folks!